he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
