Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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