so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
