Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
