YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize
