woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
