I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
