We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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