Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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