I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
