I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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