No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
