just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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