I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
this hospital has no fireball
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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