I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
