there's paper in my vomit.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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