Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
