I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
