don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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