Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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