Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
She said her name was "party"
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
