Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
