So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
