found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
