It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
