Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
