she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
