We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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