It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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