He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
