you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
