Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
