i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
