bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
