Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
