I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
