Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
