Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
