i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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