idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
