soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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