Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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