she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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