oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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