I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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