I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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