i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
