Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
