I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
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