The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
