i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
