nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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