He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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